I've lost track of moments that are happy or those that are sad. Little joys bring immense happiness, extreme pain instead of bring grave sadness now brings extreme anger, annoying instances make you laugh so hard that your gut hurts and repeated actions that irritate, whether big or small is what brings sadness! Most importantly, tears have been redefined!! Extreme anger, fatigue, hopelessness, moments when dead silence is not bring peace, it brings despair, its these moments that get the tears rolling and induce sleep. Sleep is the only remedy! The magic potion for all problems..sleep and your worries shall vanish!
The worst happens and yet we manage to smile, still cherishing the little joys. Have things stopped to matter? Death has become routine. I don't deny it still scares or upsets me. Ill health does the same, especially that of others..loved ones definitely top the list, but why is it that any and all matter. Is it just behaviour in shock? Disbelief? Or we pretend that everything is ok?
The questions are too many, the answers unknown, too few and uncertain. I definitely wonder sometimes, but mostly have stopped trying to answer. Let things be, laugh or cry when you feel like. Become a distorted machine, a badly composed feat of childish engineering or maybe worse that falters often! Maybe, I already have become one!
Am I becoming predictable? Is it just me? Or is it just the bloody age dawning!!
Complexities of life!
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