mumbai, dreams and sum trash

I feel like writing..probably the ill effects of a book made up only of letters (not to forget the bad habit of writing gibberish every now and then ever since a very early age..)

 

Secret- I had a little black buk, the cover was black actually. I called it my Mumbai diaries..it was sumtin I came up with to note down my wishes dreams plans and what not..more importantly those which had anything to do with Mumbai…

 

I did realize that it wasn’t sumtin that sumone else wud probably ever read though..maybe if my great grandchildren wanted to find out weird things bout their granny they might give it a shot but I wont b surprised if they were yawning by the 3^rd-4^th page and sleeping by the time he reached 4 and a half and swore never to even attempt reading it ever ever ever again (read-exaggeration drama melodrama etc etc)

 

To be honest though I never got down to completing it..(b) all those things I wrote down most importantly places to c and things to do..out of 50 I must.ve dun 5 at max..! L sad yes! But now I think I’ll continue it with settling n a new and still unfound life!

 

To be honest..from wat I’m reading I really really wish I had a friend like that man! (Cecilia ahern-where rainbows meet- the woman has written an entire buk on the basis of written communication between people, invites, news clippings, mostly email and chat conversations!) Though not as much..but yes..i have sum like that..the ones I’m referring to better know who I’m referring to! Dun make me walk to your door and beat u up for not getting it! (they’re there for vague talks to discuss life..whether its in the pits or screwed up romances or screwed up jobs etc etc..he he eh he not to forget nite long chats bout nutin!)

 

I think I shud stop mayb I just wanna ramble and talk trash for hours at a stretch!

I’m reading Cecilia Ahern yet again and confirmed that that I’m a die hard hope-least romantic of the highest order possible…

And yes…as always and every single day of my life..i find myself..very much in luv..all over again…with whom or wat is hard to say…maybe just the idea of luv..from wat I hear, read and see around..seems to be a nice thing..yes there r the downs and jazz..but still..if not for them..how is one to figure out the true highs..rite..besides..pure perfection to me is only that which has tits and bits of imperfection embedded to give the complete picture! Yeah yeah..lots of talk I know..but wat to do..

The sad part however is..that I think I tend to get swayed easily cuz of this.. L sad..very very sad..y..cuz then I also am susceptible to be hurt a lot more than those who’d in the true sense of the term care a damn! That’s something I dun really like..u keep giving and giving and to hell wid unconditionality..i deserve and thus I demand..till there its all fine..when I dun get it back is when the problem situation arises!

utlimate tragedy..like sumone even remotely..(in my case its usually a lot though..)and they move far far away! :(

to new beginnings! Again ;)

its strange how we often lissen to others, rather at times strangers and do things which close people or even saying to oneself enver helped us to get to actually doing it..

for starters..writing my blog...only wen sumone pin point did i THINK of writing more and more continuously..

dunno how long this phase will last..but atleast sumtin's better than nutin..i'll know i did attempt..

i'm really sick of my habit of leaving everything undun..incomplete..worst part is..its not the rel me..

i like to finish wat i start and that too only after putting in my bestest efforts ever.surprisingly i've never been so gud at it wen it comes to my habit of writing..and that too wen i luv and enjoy it so thorouhgly..

i can never figure out wat really keeps me from doing this..!i wish i cud find out and undo whatever was wrong..all i can try nevertheless is to try and improve my writing habits hereon..maybe it'll help..

wat else do i  want..hmm..i know it..lets just say that much..and i wish i had it..i really do..atleats the one thing of many which i'm clear about..as for the other things..the clouds r clearin..slowly..but they r..and the picture is gettign clearer day by day..

fingers crossed ;)